Sunday, 5 October 2008

Financial advice redux*

It's in the nature of cornering a particular market that it excludes all but the participants. So those of you who are too late for the helium idea (everyone except Dr Maroon and Mrs Pouncer) need something else.

You will have noticed that the Irish have had this brilliant wheeze of guaranteeing all bank deposits. The English etc have been too dim to ask what they're guaranteeing them with and have fallen for this like a ton of bricks. Look, the only interesting thing I know about Ireland is that it has peat bogs and peat-fired power stations, so what can they offer besides peat futures? They can't print their own Euros, the Germans won't let them. However, Gorilla Bananas has raised the idea of a tart-run investment bank (brilliant, GB) and it is clear that such a bank could offer something better. Compare and contrast:

``I'm sorry, it's all gone wrong, but you can have a wheelbarrow load of peat next Tuesday."

``I'm sorry, it's all gone wrong, but you and your wife can shag me and a friend for 2 hours next Tuesday.''

Case closed.

*No, I don't know what redux means, and I bet John Updike doesn't either.

10 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

Ireland is in deep shit but England was panicky because it was thought that the blanket guarantees would result in funds being rafted across the Irish Sea. It hasn't happened, of course, seeing as how Ireland was the very first in the EU to broadcast "official" recession. Gobshites.
Your tartbank is all very well, but I would be more interested in any institution offering personal deleveraging by Edouard d'Archimbaud.

inkspot said...

Apparently the word ``escort'' is preferred. Anyway, he seems available for employment. I'll check his suitability with Mrs Smith; for a responsible position such as personal deleveragement you cannot judge by eyebrows alone.

scarlet-blue said...

Redux . . similar to reflux . . .
I have a headache. Too many rabbits.
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Whatever.

Mrs Smith, hmm. Maroon, on NO account are you to go to that link. And you know I will know if you do.

inkspot said...

Ms Scarlet, welcome. Sorry, I've run out of Cinzano. Funnily enough, Mrs Smith claims, when brunette, to resemble Joan Collins.

scarlet-blue said...

Sorry Inky, I didn't mean to complain in my first comment on your blog. My headache is better.
I think your blog will be too clever for me really, but Mrs Smith looks interesting . . .
Sx

inkspot said...

Ms S, you were right, far too many rabbits.

Glad you appreciate Mrs Smith; she electrifies me. God knows, her blog is different.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Can you play down Mrs Smith a bit, please? I am at an age-crisis meltdown, and this is the last thing I need. I can be just as electrifying; I just need to sober up a bit and get some air occasionally. Jesus. Whatever happened to die Schaffung emotionaler Geborgenheit, as dear old Magda Goebels said.

scarlet-blue said...

I don't know . . . Mrs Smith may know a thing or two about slutty dresses . . .
Sorry Inky.
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Inky, you git (favourite movies)!
I will amend mine now.