Sunday, 22 February 2009

The people united

Last week saw a shareholders' meeting at Precision Handling. The employee and stakeholder enabling scheme means that those of us on the sharp end can turn up and discuss matters of the moment. What's absorbing the attention of those with nothing better to do (Sarkozy comes to mind, god he's annoying) is the need for a mechanism for appointing a new chairman, given that the queen is too busy, what with those corgis to feed and ruling a country that doesn't have an economy any more. It was a slow Saturday, so I went along.

The obvious thing would be to have candidates and a vote. But no, nobody good enough would wish to be seen to want the job (?) and the straightforward democratic option would be divisive (??). So we're going to have a committee. The committee will conduct secret ballots to see what people want, and then ignore the result.

Brilliant. Enver Hoxha would have been proud.

18 comments:

BEAST said...

If you actually give people what they want , then you are eally in trouble......Lord knows what they will want next

inkspot said...

Ah Beast, good of you to show up. Send me a copy of your CV and Who's Who entry, and I'll make sure the committee knows about you.

inkspot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The Queen's too busy? then she should send Princess Anne. P.A. turned up in the Antipodes for our bushfire appeal.

(I was more than a little worried that her backcombing would catch alight. Her Higness has not brushed her hair out since 1971)

inkspot said...

What, the queen grassing up her own daughter? I read they'd caught the suspected arsonist, but didn't realize where they'd got her from.

PS. Sorry there's no latex on this blog.

Gadjo Dilo said...

"the straightforward democratic option would be divisive" ;-) Just don't go down the "let everybody have a turn" road. For example, the office guard dog would blow the entire budget on Winalot and Bonio.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

We British are so good at this sort of thing. We don't have corruption either - we've just airbrushed the word out of the dictionary and replaced it with "irregularities". Easy peasy!

inkspot said...

Gadj, what's wrong with Winalot? It goes rather well with port, esp. Warre's, sort of like cut-price Bath Olivers.

Milady, I forgot to say that the results of the secret ballots will be kept secret, only the committee will know them. So you're even more right, it's not corrupt at all, just Albanian.

Kevin Musgrove said...

surely there must be a full-time senior civil servant, seconded from the private sector, with a couple of dozen non-executive directorships, who's got spare time enough to do the necessary for a cosy sinecure and a no-questions-asked seat on the renumeration board?

inkspot said...

Kevin, you've got it, you sound chap you. Can I nominate you to the committee?

Dr Maroon said...

Oh! Oh! Humph! * squirming in enhtusiastic pantpissing paroxisms up the back of the class trying to be noticed*

Me,Inky me. I'll be square with you, I need the dosh.

inkspot said...

But Maroon, that's the point, you exclude yourself by wanting the job. Beast was much more subtle. Still, if you insist, I'll send your Who's Who entry to the committee.

Oh, I forgot, the whole issue is theological, we still have a chairman. The debate (if such it was) concerned the mechanism for finding a new one. If the current one goes.

Ché l'écossais said...

What's the pension scheme like ?

Reply ASAP, I'm a busy man.

inkspot said...

Oh dear, cher Ché, if you have to ask then, how shall I put this, you're just not cut out for the job.

Honestly, I need to get the right class of person to read this blog. Perhaps if I spammed the Reform Club, or the gents toilet in Piccadilly Circus tube station?

problemchildbride said...

Are you looking for a chairman who both chairs and mans? Or are you looking for a largely indifferent and mostly inert figurehead? Because I have been working very hard on being largely indifferent, plus I can stay very still for hours at an end. I'm always in the market for a sinecure but, as I'm largely indifferent, you know, whatever.

inkspot said...

Sam, cometh the hour, cometh the man. Or bride. An unsolicited touch of glamour would make all the difference, and this is exactly what you would supply. Plus, would you give fabulous parties? The entertainment budget is unlimited (so it's not a budget, I suppose) and merely needs to be spent in the right way.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh, for heaven's sake! Sam, you may assume a junior role, for I am the thoroughly solicited touch of glamour, and my parties are extraordinary. Inky and I have been linked commercially for some considerable time and no-one blows budgets like I do.

Ché l'écossais said...

I posted your job ad on the walls of the gents in Piccadilly Circus tube station, well, most of it, the tiles were squishy wet and my marker couldn't handle it, I'll be expecting a finders fee if you get any positives.

(Also, I reworded it somewhat, so you're "Big Dave", and respondents will be expected to handle "heavy issues".)