Friday 19 June 2009

Return of the native

Last week I had a free day in Kyoto (fabulous place, deserves better than this blog, too hot for tourism) and another in Sapporo (fabulous weather, too dull for tourism). Present-buying was a success: Mitsouko for Mme Inkspot, some junior perfume with an embarrassing name for Mlle I. And the trip back was as unghastly as possible, despite the check-in staff in Sapporo going to a great deal of courteous trouble in an attempt to send me to London and my bag to Paris. [Warning: plug follows.] Air France was a pleasure, with free champagne even in cattle class and some movies well worth watching, despite the tiny screen. I'd thought for ages that I'd seen La Dolce Vita, but that was the sort of self-delusion that leads Jeffrey Archer to believe that he really has an Oxford degree. After all, every gentleman has seen it, and I'm a gentleman, so I've seen it, even though I can't remember exactly when. But it's fabulous, of course, with loads of gorgeous actresses whom I had trouble distinguishing, I must admit. OK, Anita Ekberg is blonde, but she starts off not speaking Italian, and then she does speak it, so whoa, is this the same person? Maybe I need new spectacles.

Actually I'm too harsh on Sapporo. I had some outstanding food there, including sea-urchin (uni), which I like a lot even though it doesn't look like anything you'd want to eat. Well, to be frank, it looks like something you'd definitely not want to eat, so the first time is a bit of a trial. But subsequent times are a joy. It's a bit expensive, but the Japanese, although they'll only pay (me) for an economy airfare, are otherwise generous with expenses, with no nonsense about receipts. Instead, you're met on day one with a thick wedge of high-denomination banknotes, so there's plenty left over for the acquisition of a gentleman's requisites.

9 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

Whaddabout my sea-cucumber then, Inkums? You let me down last time, too, you aunt. Hurry home. Cx

Anonymous said...

I want your job. whatever it is

xerxes said...

Clarissa, mwaah darling, you thought I'd forgotten didn't you? Well, here it is, a packet of dried pickled squid tentacles. Mmm, delicious, thanks for letting me try them.

Nurse, I know, it's like me, it's too fabulous for words. The best bit is flirting with beautiful women on this blog.

Lulu LaBonne said...

If you've brought me back some whale blubber Inky I'll let you apply it!

Dr Maroon said...

What's all this: open season on Maroon? "Gentlemen's requisites" that's my material. Still, hurry back, it's been dull round here lately. (no offence to anyone)

Kevin Musgrove said...

It's true, it has been dangerously quiet lately.

Not envious at all. I'm not bitter that the best I can hope for is a day out to Huddersfield that gets kiboshed because I'm required to be in the office for some corporate nonsense.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Did you eat fugu fish? This highly poisonous animal was one of my father's obsessions, and he wrote articles about it for publications such as Mayfair and (I believe) Foxy Lady.

xerxes said...

Lulu, if I'm to apply blubber it's got to be my own, the whales were firm on this point. Still interested?

Dr Maroon, what a pleasure, it's been ages. Here, have one of Mrs P's tentacles. Aren't they good? Oh, about the requisites: sorry, you can't have them back. Talent only borrows, but genius steals.

Kevin, don't be glum. I thought of getting you Mitsouko too, but it wouldn't have suited you, honest.

Gadj, no fugu. I don't even know anyone rich enough to eat it.

Lulu LaBonne said...

Sorry Inky my body can only tolerate whale blubber - I'll have a tentacle though if there are any spare