Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Eat your heart out Jacques Cousteau

Last night I went swimming with whales. As one went by I squirted mustard in its ear. That made the whale thrash around a whole lot and I woke up at 4-30 in a Bristol hotel room.

Bastard whale, now I'm going to be useless at work today.

Oh btw Freudians, it was mustard, it was yellow.

6 comments:

Gyppo Byard said...

It could have been worse. You could have dreamed of swimming with a Welsh... (leaves feedline for gag involving Charlotte Church hanging invitingly in the air)

Lulu LaBonne said...

When you woke up to all that thrashing - was it a mermaid after all?

That's what happens when you choose a hotel so close to the water.

inkspot said...

Christ Gyppo, that pun was awful, you should carry a warning light. Plus it's taken me till now to get it you swine.

Lulu I'm shocked, I'm a gentleman, I'd never squirt mustard in a mermaid's ear, I can't believe it's an erotic condiment. Do you mean that the Bristol waterfront is a little louche? Not next to Old Market, where I usually stay, an area riddled with the most blush-making establishments.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Whale, mustard, Bristol..... you're suffering from a well-documented and yet almost incurable syndrome, Inky. Only I can help you. Send £50 to the usual address to receive your first set of therapy instructions.

Anonymous said...

I'm predicting a bad case of the runs around 4:00 pm

inkspot said...

Gadj, thank you! But don't cure me of mermaids. Oh, hang on, damn; i've left my wallet in my other trousers.

Nurse, at 4 pm I was sound asleep, during a presentation so beautifully narcoleptic that I recall nothing about it.