My profile lists my interests as sex, food and mathematics. (Separately; steady on, now. The fluid mechanics of syrup sex are specialized.) Clicking on each reveals the number of people on blogger with that particular interest; the results are
sex: 19,800
food: 55,600
mathematics: 5,000.
Taking food as the standard, I'm surprised and pleased by how much mathematics that is, and surprised by how little sex.
Well . . . I think you need a more defined breakdown of all participants before you reach any conclusion. You know, gender/social/religious profiling . . . etc. Perhaps do a survey . . . do you think I ought to go back to flashing my pants and quaffing champagne? Okay then. Sx
I wonder what happens if you try all three without commas (sex food maths) or indeed spaces sexfoodmaths? How many then? Don't you feel a Mastermind moment coming on? 'Tonight my specialist subject is ...'
Ok Miss Scarlet , I will sit here manching on a bag of donuts , dividing the number of times you flash your pants by the number of glasses of champagne you drink in a specified period of time and see if I can work out the 'arousal' coefficient or somesuch . That should cover sex , food and maths.... or it may just give me wind. Only time will tell
Well it's got a bit raunchy since I was last in here. Naughty Kate! And Inky . . . now where did you get the idea that I was home counties?!!!! Deary me. Sometimes those ip map thingys show me as being in Hampshire or Wiltshire. This is amusing.
Why does everyone have to bang on about sex the whole time? There are other things, you know, and I don't mean food or sums. Here is a list of other things: The M25 upgrade Co-ordinated half-point rate cuts The Clone Trooper Helmet Salford Quays Noble rot Jonathan Kelsey for Mulberry Foinavon Broviac catheters Arnold Palmer Ambre Solaire The Hillman Husky I am a bit out of sorts.
I like a man in a clone trooper helmet who knows how to upgrade the M25 . . . I know what you mean Mrs P . . . You knew I was going to write that didn't you? You like your sport don't you Mrs P, Golf? Horse racing? I know what Ambre Solaire is . . . but I'll look the rest up . . . Sx
Sport? Hardly, Scarlet. Racing, maybe, and Foinavon because that was the Grand National that my dear old grandfather put a £5 e/way bet on for me because it was my birthday weekend, and the rest is history. He put the winnings in a savings account and gave me the cheque on my 21st. Goodness, I had fun. The rest of the list is one of my famous stream-of-consciousness outpourings. Factor-a-half Ambre Solaire was the scent of summer when I was little.
Watch out Scarlet, don't say horse racing to Mrs P. It's just racing, other kinds don't exist.
Upgrade the M25? Pah! I built it. Well, not on my own, obviously, but I had a holiday job as a chain boy (_not_ what it sounds) surveying what was going to be the M25/M23 junction.
Yes, Inky, and it is common to say Horse Racing: it is simply Racing. You wouldn't say "we're going to the Horse Races", would you? It is worse to say Horse Riding. Also, notepaper, mirror, mantlepiece, toilet, weekend, fortnight, suit and swimming costume. You should never take sugar in coffee or have a tassle on your umbrella. And holding your knife like a pencil is an indictable offence in my book. Love, Poshby Pouncer xx
Tassle on your umbrella? Who ever heard of such a thing? Where on your brolly would you put it? Where could you put it? Where could anyone put it, even the most ingenious trollop?
Like DOH . . . ! I am common! I'm going to stay up all night now and write a post that highlights all the verbal offences that have been mentioned here. Indeed, I have a pink bedside satin effect lampshady thingy with sparkly diamante tassles. I love tassles. Tassles with knobs on, I say . . . Sx
Well Inkblot, the tassles are being removed by the author . . . but Mrs P was trying to steer the conversation away from sex, so I can assure you that there are loads of places on a brolly for a tassle. I even used to have a pair of black tassle earrings - they looked like curtain pulls . . . Sx
. . . deary me Mrs P! Inky babes, I'm going to have to leave the maths up to you . . . I got unclassified at 'O'level. You're going to have to explain adriatric triangles or whatever because I really haven't got a clue. Sx
Oh, you should ask Dr Maroon about my grasp of maths. I lulled him into a false sense of security by counting on my fingers and marvelling at his long division. I kept this up for a month. Then I hit between the eyes with my take on the ring-theoretic properties of Hecke algebras. Putty in my hands.
Would you like to rake over knot polynomials or conformal field theory with me? It would be a pleasant diversion, as Maroon is still huffy after I bettered him in an exposition of von Neumann algebra. Not on speakers, I'm afraid.
I thought that would shake you out of your sulk. Now come and see me and we can review the Weierstrass elliptic function together; just like old times.
34 comments:
Well . . . I think you need a more defined breakdown of all participants before you reach any conclusion. You know, gender/social/religious profiling . . . etc. Perhaps do a survey . . . do you think I ought to go back to flashing my pants and quaffing champagne? Okay then.
Sx
Pants-flashing and champagne-quaffing count as sex. (But, re. champagne: never let it near anything sensitive, as it stings like the dickens.)
I wonder what happens if you try all three without commas (sex food maths) or indeed spaces sexfoodmaths? How many then? Don't you feel a Mastermind moment coming on? 'Tonight my specialist subject is ...'
All 3 without the commas is pervy, Kate. You, Scarlet, Mrs P; home counties gels are a naughty lot.
Ok Miss Scarlet , I will sit here manching on a bag of donuts , dividing the number of times you flash your pants by the number of glasses of champagne you drink in a specified period of time and see if I can work out the 'arousal' coefficient or somesuch . That should cover sex , food and maths.... or it may just give me wind. Only time will tell
Well it's got a bit raunchy since I was last in here. Naughty Kate!
And Inky . . . now where did you get the idea that I was home counties?!!!! Deary me. Sometimes those ip map thingys show me as being in Hampshire or Wiltshire. This is amusing.
. . . Well Hello Beastie . . .
SX
Why does everyone have to bang on about sex the whole time? There are other things, you know, and I don't mean food or sums.
Here is a list of other things:
The M25 upgrade
Co-ordinated half-point rate cuts
The Clone Trooper Helmet
Salford Quays
Noble rot
Jonathan Kelsey for Mulberry
Foinavon
Broviac catheters
Arnold Palmer
Ambre Solaire
The Hillman Husky
I am a bit out of sorts.
I like a man in a clone trooper helmet who knows how to upgrade the M25 . . . I know what you mean Mrs P . . . You knew I was going to write that didn't you?
You like your sport don't you Mrs P, Golf? Horse racing? I know what Ambre Solaire is . . . but I'll look the rest up . . .
Sx
Sport? Hardly, Scarlet. Racing, maybe, and Foinavon because that was the Grand National that my dear old grandfather put a £5 e/way bet on for me because it was my birthday weekend, and the rest is history. He put the winnings in a savings account and gave me the cheque on my 21st. Goodness, I had fun.
The rest of the list is one of my famous stream-of-consciousness outpourings. Factor-a-half Ambre Solaire was the scent of summer when I was little.
stream-of-consciousness . . . Oh what are you like Mrs P?!
Sx
Watch out Scarlet, don't say horse racing to Mrs P. It's just racing, other kinds don't exist.
Upgrade the M25? Pah! I built it. Well, not on my own, obviously, but I had a holiday job as a chain boy (_not_ what it sounds) surveying what was going to be the M25/M23 junction.
Yes, Inky, and it is common to say Horse Racing: it is simply Racing. You wouldn't say "we're going to the Horse Races", would you? It is worse to say Horse Riding. Also, notepaper, mirror, mantlepiece, toilet, weekend, fortnight, suit and swimming costume. You should never take sugar in coffee or have a tassle on your umbrella. And holding your knife like a pencil is an indictable offence in my book. Love, Poshby Pouncer xx
Tassle on your umbrella? Who ever heard of such a thing? Where on your brolly would you put it? Where could you put it? Where could anyone put it, even the most ingenious trollop?
Otherwise you're right. Horseriding hurts particularly.
Yours ever,
Inksnob.
Oh, Inky, you are such a swoon, really you are. I knew you would understand.
Scarlet probably has tassles on everything.
Like DOH . . . ! I am common! I'm going to stay up all night now and write a post that highlights all the verbal offences that have been mentioned here.
Indeed, I have a pink bedside satin effect lampshady thingy with sparkly diamante tassles. I love tassles. Tassles with knobs on, I say . . .
Sx
Tassels and knobs, eh? Scarlet, how about posting some pics of your boudoir?
Well Inkblot, the tassles are being removed by the author . . .
but Mrs P was trying to steer the conversation away from sex, so I can assure you that there are loads of places on a brolly for a tassle.
I even used to have a pair of black tassle earrings - they looked like curtain pulls . . .
Sx
Actually, I am quite happy to clamber back onto sex now. It was only temporary.
Okay!!! I did once stick the aforementioned tassled earrings on my tits to see what I'd look like as a stripper.
Sx
And what did you look like? And how did you stick them? Or were they clip-ons?
Well . . . I did actually look like a stripper . . . I just held them there and then threw them aside for my grande finale . . .
Sx
S'pose I could have used blu-tac.
Sx
Have you ever done that thing where you stick tiny little ..... no, wait, I'll email you.
Hmm, now we've got the umbrellas out of the way, I'm intrigued by these tassle thingies too.
Can we have some maths as well, or are you ladies having enough fun?
. . . deary me Mrs P!
Inky babes, I'm going to have to leave the maths up to you . . . I got unclassified at 'O'level. You're going to have to explain adriatric triangles or whatever because I really haven't got a clue.
Sx
Oh, you should ask Dr Maroon about my grasp of maths. I lulled him into a false sense of security by counting on my fingers and marvelling at his long division. I kept this up for a month. Then I hit between the eyes with my take on the ring-theoretic properties of Hecke algebras. Putty in my hands.
As you have just hit me.
Top comment, Mrs P. Not many are familiar with the modern theory of modular forms.
How nice.
Would you like to rake over knot polynomials or conformal field theory with me? It would be a pleasant diversion, as Maroon is still huffy after I bettered him in an exposition of von Neumann algebra. Not on speakers, I'm afraid.
Clarissa! You promised!!!
It's all true I am afraid.
Jesus! What an admission.
I thought that would shake you out of your sulk. Now come and see me and we can review the Weierstrass elliptic function together; just like old times.
It's not an eliptic function it's hyperbolic.
Bollocks.
Big gaps in your knowledge of theta functions.
Big gaps in my knowledge.
Sx
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