Wednesday, 21 January 2009

and now go east

As Mrs Pouncer has noticed, Precision Handling's interests have taken me to Japan. Tokyo, in fact, where I'm enjoying the most brutal jet-lag since, oh, the last time I was here. In the movies Scarlet Johansson turns up to console you, but she isn't in the phone book. I think they make these things up.

Sea cucumber? I wish. Having no Japanese, I've been eating at random. Tonight featured bits of octopus embedded in balls of dough and fried. Breakfast will surely be an improvement, but there are 8 hours of lying awake to be done before then.

29 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

Well think of me then, Inky-san. The sea-cucumber can wait.

Word ver't miction, which I think is something to do with weeing, isn't it?

scarlet-blue said...

I think he said he wanted Scarlet Mrs P....
Yes Mr Inky, thank you kindly for the sea-cucumber. A normal one would have been fine btw...

WV: ariat, a singing cucumber I believe...

inkspot said...

What are you doing in my comment box Mrs P? You should be swaying provocatively down some slope or wearing outrageous fur in some club or getting Aryans to buy you emeralds. You know, stuff that adds value. [Shame, I think it's micturition that's weeing.]

Scarlet, is it really you? So the movies are true! Just as well, sleep is still elusive. Sea cucumbers, even the singing ones, are meant to be squashy, I didn't sit on it.

BEAST said...

I am sure there is plenty of mischief you can get up to with a sea cucumber in 8 hours Inky , you round eye devil you

inkspot said...

Beast, the blighter will wriggle so.

scarlet-blue said...

It is I Mr Inky... and I've even bothered to write something on my blog. It happens occasionally.
Now we can't be having you squashing your cucumber...
Sx

Anonymous said...

First Bristol, now Japan. Is Australia on your itinerary?

Kevin Musgrove said...

You could always avail yourself of unsavoury items from vending machines.

Just like back home really.

Gadjo Dilo said...

There must be something to do in Tokyo when you can't sleep. If not, happy dreams of Ms Johansson!

MJ said...

I've just popped over from Beast's ... oh hello, Miss Scarlet...to see who this Inky fellow is... only to find him getting up to something with a sea cucumber.

Perhaps I've come at a bad time?

Mrs Pouncer said...

Actually, Scarlet, Inky promised me a sea-cucumber during some PRIVATE correspondence, so your pitiful yelps for attention are of no consequence to him.


WV: cmoninkyshakeitbaby

scarlet-blue said...

Blimey Mrs P, it's busy in here today... looks like young Mr Inky has been putting himself about a bit... and now has a large crowd gathering to fight over his cucumber...
Sx

BEAST said...

Are sea cucumbers the things that expand to an enormous turgid state and then release their pent up seed in a big splurt ???
What are you getting up to in that Tokyo hotel room ???

scarlet-blue said...

Turning Japanese?
Sx

BEAST said...

Fiddling with your sushi ??
Waggling your wasabi ??

inkspot said...

Goodness. I suppose you'd all better have sea-cucumbers.

Beast, that swelling and squirting is defensive. Well, that's what they told me in the pub in Bristol.

Nurse, it's a bit far for a bed-bath. Hmm, maybe not...

MJ, whatever it is, I am _not_ that sort of boy.

Kevin, exactly. Unless you're referring to used panties. I think that's an urban myth. OTOH, diligent googling reveals that soaplands charge 20,000 yen on their Japanese pages, and 70,000 on their English pages. So Japanese girls find gaijin men exactly 3 1/2 times as disgusting as they do Japanese men. You read it here first.

Mrs P, have you got those emeralds yet?

Gadj, many things, see my reply to Kevin.

Scarlet, can you wear those shoes for me? Please?

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh yeah, Inky, and so much more.

scarlet-blue said...

I can wear them... but I'm not walking in them... but I probably won't have to..
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh, Inky! I'm your 1000th visitor! What do I win? Go on, surprise me!

BEAST said...

Who would have thought that the Bristonians were so knowledgeable in the ways of the Sea Cucumber

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You could play with the electronic loo, has it got a "micturation" setting?

inkspot said...

Milady, no, quite the reverse. I can't go into the details on a family blog, but it's a sort of water-goosing.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Inky, Scarlet has lugged a sea-cucumber over to Kev's Commonplaces. Don't worry, I caught up with her and have managed to defuse the situation. Our niche interest is protected once more.
Scarlet would probably have written "diffuse" instead of "defuse". She is not very bright.

scarlet-blue said...

Yes, but I have red patent stilettos and I am waving a loofah. I don't have corns.
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

My feet have been admired, fetishised, even, by a man who has feet like St Sebastian, and is therefore well placed for the sort of podiatrist thrills that only I can provide. Inky was over at mine this afternoon demanding a photograph of me in my benedictine Broken Hearts. Case closed, Scarlet. Let the good times roll.

scarlet-blue said...

Ah, Bénédictine? Who needs a Broken Heart when you can have a Monk's Hammer?
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Now you're talking! I suspect that no-one else will know what a Monk's Hammer is. Well done, that girl. We obviously read the same ... um .... err .... trade journals. I will e you some interesting illustrations, Scarla.

scarlet-blue said...

I'll give you a Monk's Hammer in return for a Sea-Cucumber and full intructions on how best to deploy it...
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

*sp. instructions.
Sx