Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Go west, young man

Just back from pursuing Precision Handling's interests in Bristol. Again. But what are these interests, my readers demand? They are strictly legal. They do involve, however, the occasional appearance at louche events or places. Sometimes this is unplanned. Last night I was passing a pub that I had seen many times before, although previously either it had been closed or I hadn't wanted a drink. This time was different, and I went in for some port; I particularly liked the idea of a glass of Graham's '85 while I contemplated the day's events, which had been surprising. Well, the Graham's was off, so I settled, as one does, for a pint of Guinness. While consuming this I was distracted by the music videos (1980's disco, which is more enjoyable than I usually admit) and the decor. Funny, the 13th January and they've still got the Christmas decorations up. And why aren't there any women here? Well, enlightenment didn't dawn, it never does, that's one of the stupidest cliches in English, it hit me over the head. So did I

(a) abandon my Guinness and slowly leave, while keeping my back to the wall;

(b) take out my phone, call home and have a loud and obvious uxorious conversation;

(c) hang around and await developments, in the hope that the H & M scarf that I'd borrowed from Mlle Inkspot ("Daddy's on the turn") would disguise my obvious straightness?

11 comments:

Gadjo Dilo said...

I'm afraid that "obvious straightness" would be the biggest turn on for people in such an environment, Inko! Then there was the pint of Guinness in your hand too. Frankly I'm surprised you made it out the door.

scarlet-blue said...

Sigh.... you rang me and I came to help you.
Sx

BEAST said...

The Beast is sniggering , imagining Inky clutching his scarf like a maiden aunt in the hope it will protect his virtue.
Relax man , they are just people, in a pub....what can possibly go wrong ???

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh Inkchen, have you seen Wendy's latest post? It's a little sign I told her about that I'd spotted on the door of our local gay bar (we live near each other) when I was travelling to Reading Station on a BUS. Go to Scarlet's for the link. Cx

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

A gay bar in Bristol??? Do they wear pink welly boots there?

inkspot said...

Gadj, did I make it out the door? Scarlet, did I ring you? Beast, did anything go wrong? Mrs P, yes, thanks for the link, I'm still astonished by the bus, doesn't the Thames Valley have taxis? Milady, it's all those sailors, pink wellies would have been unnoticeable against that wallpaper.

scarlet-blue said...

Something went wrong and you rang me. I collected Mrs P, Daphne and Mr Beastie in the Scarletmobile [Wendy took the bus - even though it only goes to Full] and we came to help you. I brought you a pair of wellies - pink with a nice daisy print design, Daphne brought a bottle of port and some chocolates, Mr Beastie brought some tropical delights and Mrs P brought a long and elegant speech to distract the punters. Gadj was already there. Are you saying that you remember none of this?
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Also, I was completely naked under my silk dress. Do you REALLY not remember this, Inkikins?

inkspot said...

Yes, well, I said the day's events had been surprising.

Waiter! Have they found that Graham's yet?

DeliaBlack said...

I accidentally went to a donkey show in Tijuana. I didn't realize that there was going to be a donkey show--I just thought the donkey was there for drinks. I bought him a few and was just about to ask for his number, when I noticed someone going down on him. I was rather embarrassed as I descended from the stage.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Inky, I am in Saanenmoser. Are you in Japan yet? What about my sea cucumber?