Friday, 20 March 2009

Bruderhandlung

My brother, straight and glamorous, turns up for birthday drinks. He's also single, his most recent squeeze having decided to stick with her husband. Fraternal conversation is along the lines of "Great tits, but she's a nutter" or "This woman will change your life, and she can be blonde if you want".

Why is it bad to be reductive? Not a word is wasted, the handling is precise.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll go blonde for your brother

scarlet-blue said...

I'm already blonde ish...
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Nursemyra seems rather half-hearted. I'll go down for your brother.

Anonymous said...

Pour réponse au poste précédent !!!

Yours ,Exactly ! Hello ! Dr Maron,
Veiled this fine French!
Of which speak to you the one that remains to less than a cognac place (the city of Cognac!)
And that consumes fine Napoléon, Imperial, outside age Very Special...


Hello Inkspot,

There is not smoke without fire! Me here in all friendship, for a cordial visit.
Not being expert in English, as you pointed out it with irony and strong kindness!?
I will not do remark on these Ladies of Ireland that so much more are among the prettiest ones.
If you have not any has priori on the individual that I am, do you allow me some visits?

Friendly

inkspot said...

Ladies, form an orderly queue. No nutters please.

Le celebre M Crabtree fait un visite a la Precision Handling! Soyez le bienvenu, m'sieur. Tiens, Mme Pouncer vous traduira les mots cles, tels que "tits", "blonde" et "nutter". [Inkspot sort, en cherchant Dr Bruni.]

Anonymous said...

Une "Mésanges" "Blonde" "Foldingo" ????

Help ! Mrs Pouncer !!

Gadjo Dilo said...

Sweet, Mr Inkspot. Reductionism is excellent, but there's nowhere to go afterwards. I'll do.... errr, no I won't.

Dr Maroon said...

Go down where? The shops?

inkspot said...

Gadj, thanks for the encomium.

Maroon, thank christ someone asked, I didn't dare. But enquiring minds would certainly like to know.

scarlet-blue said...

Well, Mrs P didn't say 'go down on' did she. Tut. If she had then I doubt anything would have been reduced.
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

I've been watching too many Tom Mix movies. I thought she meant she was gathering a posse.

Mrs Pouncer said...

The Mother of All Days.

Alors, allant vers le sud, bien sur. Pourquoi personne ne veux vivre nulle part ailleurs, c'est un mystere.

Crabtree, M. Inkspot tente de cacher son veritable message dans le jeu de mots. Il est uniquement interesse par le sexe, Et c'est la verite.

No graves, acutes, cedillas or anything else, as per. Get your own.

inkspot said...

Scarlet, eventually, surely? OTOH Kevin offers us a different view. Mrs P, can we reconcile these conflicting suggestions? Or is there no conflict?

Anonymous said...

Étant naïf ;) Mrs Poncer , je croit à votre version ,les yeux fermés ;}

Je ne suis pas "à tirer" (attirer) par le sexe,surtout le mien qui n'est pas élastique ... Hélas ! C'est là qu'est l'os !

Le "Dr Bruni" et le "Dr Hefez" même combat !( la folie douce )

scarlet-blue said...

Well, I imagine that somewhere it might be illegal to 'go down' on a bloke... so then you might 'go down' for 'going down'....?
I hope this helps.
Sx

BEAST said...

Its very 'continental' over here today.
I am not sure I approve of all this 'european' behaviour.
Mr Inky my question is , does a nutter with nice tits outrank non nutter with bad ones ?

Mrs Pouncer said...

You are all children.
Many men remark, with approval, that I often head in the right direction. I am a woman of the world, and in my prime. And you so would, anyway. Noblesse oblige.

Beast, it is a real treat to see you here. I have missed you. You are quite right, however. "Never let the Continental Sunday get a grip on your establishment" was almost the last thing my dear old char, Mrs Rumteigh, rasped before she left me for an Arab household. But I am interested in your reference to bad tits. What constitutes such a pair? Too small? Too big? A sort of dig 'n' delve cleavage? No matter. Next time Scarls and I go to J. Allen, I absolutely insist you join us. Or can I come to you? Where are you geography-wise? Would I have to come up to see you, or go down?

BEAST said...

Thank you Mrs P . I currently hang my hat in that pearl of the south coast Bournemouth.
On consideration I am not sure there is such a thing as 'bad tits' . Most men seem to completely lose there minds over anything with a nipple on it . So I guess I have invalidated my own question.
I shall endevor to make the next J.allen's meeting , I am sure I cant still be banned after all this time.

inkspot said...

Je suis heureux d'etre assure de l'os.

Beast, it's very European to spell European with a small e, you sophisticate you. You were right to invalidate your question, if only because the tables might be turned ("a non-nutter, but a tiny ..."). Eek.

BEAST said...

Inky . What can I say . I didnt even know european would have a capital letter. Grammar , sentence structure and spelling are all strangers to the Beast . I could blame it on a mediocre education , but I suppose when it boils down to it I am just a thicko slob :-)
***wipes nose on sleeve***

scarlet-blue said...

...a tiny cream bun!
Yey!! A jaunt to the seaside! Donkeys!!! Ice-cream!!
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Yes, Scarlet, a jaunt. We shall hire a chara and go to Bournemouth to see Beast. We can hold towels around him whilst he changes into his bathing-drawers and you can play in the beach-hut. I will find a suitable groyne to sit on.

scarlet-blue said...

Shall we stay on this post? I think Mr Inkspot is being grumpy about Lost.
And careful of the groynes... they can be hard.
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Hard groynes are of interest to me, Scarlet, as you know fine well. There is nothing nastier - nor more disappointing - than a soft groyne. Many a time and oft, I have sat on a be-slimed groyne, hung about with Mermaid's Purse and Sea Cress. But that is the price you pay for going to Swanage.
MC Ward is very protective of Swanage. The whole thing is beyond reason.

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Wardy? It's the name Swanage... it relates to drainage... I don't why. Swanage is probably very nice though.
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

I appear to have fallen through a hole in the space-time continuum and come back to this post.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Yes, Kevin. I last spoke of Swanage - to MC Ward - in June 2008. We have come full circle. Where is Ward? Does he ever visit these parts? He should. Scarlet, go and get him. If he won't come, tell him I await, and that I am channeling Valerie Leon in a milkmaid's costume.

scarlet-blue said...

Well, yes Kev.. the post was about Lost.
I have been to seen Mr Wardy and I waved Swanage at him.
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Apologies, I meant see, not seen.
Sx

M C Ward said...

I have been invited to launch a stirring defence of Swanage, a seaside resort both my parents lived in as children, and where I spent delightful childhood weekends visiting my grandparents, who lived in a four-storey Victorian semi in Park Road full of antique furniture and a particularly wonderful first floor parlour. Indeed, my father is buried in Godlingston Cemetery, at silly mid off to the late, great Brian Johnston (Johnners).

This is a diffcult task, however, as the place nowadays boasts more plebs than pebbles, gross amusement arcades, more chip shops per square mile than anywhere else on the south coast, and local youths unused to the presence of foreigners from the other side of the Sandbanks chain ferry.

As Goethe said, "Yes, I have finally arrived to this Capital of the World! I now see all the dreams of my youth coming to life..." - only in German.

M C Ward said...

It turns out he was talking about Rome. My mistake.

scarlet-blue said...

Thank you Mr Wardy!
Sx

inkspot said...

Mr Ward, welcome. Your defence of Swanage is certainly stirring, but I promise you that no-one was attacking it.

May I ask you a personal question? Why teach English as a foreign language? Mightn't it be easier as a native language?

I see that that makes 3 questions. Apologies.

Mrs Pouncer said...

I was attacking it actually, Inkybabes. Obliquely, but an attack nevertheless. You obv hadn't read my post of June '08 - long since deleted. I will be reprising some of the old favourites, incidentally, in the near future. I will do requests.
Anyhoo, Wardy, pay no heed to Inky and his slightly snippy approach. I will engage with you about Swanage. thus: in the summer of 1963 we spent two weeks there in a private hotel so that I could recuperate from a tonsilectomy. The hotel was in PARK ROAD! The daughter of the proprietor was called Verity, a name I had never heard before, but I thought it was the most euphonious thing I had ever encountered (I was 5) and many years later I chose it for one of my daughters. Isn't this a charming story?

Mrs Pouncer said...

I see that I have written "a" tonsilectomy, to suggest that I had more than one. Well, I didn't. It was THE tonsilectomy; or MY tonsilectomy. One has to be so careful because Gyppo might happen by.

inkspot said...

Actually, Mrs P, it wasn't your tonsillectomy, the tonsillectomy belonged (and still does, unless he or she has bequeathed it or given it away) to the surgeon who did it. These medical types are proprietorial to, and beyond, the point of greed. Frinstance, Parkinson's disease is not named after some wretch called Parkinson who had it, but because that's the name of the bloke who first described it.

Mrs Pouncer said...

A moot point, babes. I am a GP's daughter, and I wonder whether, after successfully treating a case of haemorrhoids for example, my dear old father would've referred to them as "my piles". I can't recall. My mother, that gorgeous old harridan, always used to shrill "no shop talk at the table, I beg!" whenever pathology was raised over the rack of lamb.

inkspot said...

Yours tonsils, his tonsillectomy. Not fair, but too bad. Medical practice is stringent on this point.

M C Ward said...

Thank you for your warm welcome, Inkspot. Teaching English is a waste of time as a foreign, native, computer-generated or any other kind of language. Nobody bothers to study between classes, then blames their poor old English Master for the linguistic carnage that then ensues. Bugger the lot of them.

Mrs P - I didn't know Verity, but I'm sure my gregarious Welsh grandfather did. He knew everybody at the Ship Inn at the bottom of the road, run by the one-legged publican Rusty.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Where is Maroon? He is oddly silent.

Dr Maroon said...

I'm here as always Clarissa.

Mrs Pouncer said...

You look magnificent! A daring combination, as always. Am I sensing Seamills Hydro chic, say 1968?

Dr Maroon said...

I suit narrow mohair and a buzz cut don't I? Yet I say you look stunning. While I may or may not be the right stuff, you appear every inch the astronaut's wife.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Mmm.
Drink?

Bye Inky.

scarlet-blue said...

Oh... Is the party over...?
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

I'm sure I encountered somebody channeling Valerie Leon in a milkmaid's outfit on Bravo. If it wasn't her it was some other pneumatic and statuesque lady. At least I hope it was a lady, you never know these days on cable TV.