Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Totally lost

"What are you watching?"

"Go away, I'm fed up with explaining TV programmes to you, you can't be bothered to listen and then you mock me for watching."

"No honestly, what is it, I'll listen and I won't mock."

"Well, ok then. It's about a bunch of people who survive a plane crash and every so often there's a break in the space-time continuum and they go back to being wrecked..."

"Well if it has a break then it's not a continuum is it, it's silly and it makes no physical sense..."

"GO AWAY. You are an arrogant pig."

"Oh I see why you're watching, they're all incredibly good looking... GOD HE'S NOT! How does someone stay as fat and ugly as that? Is it in his contract that he has to be obese? Anyway I'm not arrogant, I'm sarcastic, there is a difference you know OW! that really hurt."

"Good, it was meant to."

26 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

Lost! Oh please update me because I only get Freeview, and Sky nicked Lost from C4.
I've noticed, Mr Inky, that you always post just as you're previous comments box is steaming up...??? [Yes, three question marks]
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

This is because he wants to display a certain insouciance, Scarlet. It is all bluff, however. Secretly, he is madly counting the comments and willing them higher. I may gratify his whim by re-visiting yet again and adding to the gaiety of nations.

inkspot said...

Scarlet, (1) You mean we have to pay for that drivel?? Anyway, here's the update: I haven't a clue because it's unwatchable, esp. with the obese bloke. Yes, fattist, I know. Bite me.

(2) Ooh, I hadn't thought of that. How evasive.

Mrs P, my, we are feeling observant today, aren't we? But I permit you to gratify my whims.

Anonymous said...

Totally Lost = "La cage aux folle " Devil...! Does Ca speak again of sex??

That will do a commentary of more, negligible but... !?

scarlet-blue said...

Pssst...Crabtree... we're all going back to the previous post until Mr Inky gets over being grumpy about Lost [The TV programme]... we're still talking about sex there.
Sx

BEAST said...

There is nothing worse than someone carping all through your favourite show . domestic murders have been committed for less

Anonymous said...

"Rire sous cape" :)) Do not take my commentaries to the first degree !! You would well have surprised of what I think !

But I admit that my amusement is filled ;)


Courage Inkspot !

Gadjo Dilo said...

What an wonderful family you have, Inspot: they're either intellectuals or - OW! - capable of giving great Chinese burns.

I couldn't watch ITV as a kid without being mocked remorselessly. The upside is that I've never felt the compulsion to run out and buy Persil, Ovaltine, Murray Mints, Shake 'n' Vac, etc.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Name a whim, any old whim, and I'll gratify it.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Gadj, who mockedya? I am 3 Tanqueray Export Strengths down and I will kick denture. Who was it?

Anonymous said...

Judge Judy anyone?

(not me)

Kevin Musgrove said...

coming from a family of bullshitters this was never a problem. The explanation never made any sense anyway. I was twenty-four before I found out that "Seven Brides For Seven Brothers" wasn't set in a jam factory in Huddersfield.

Gadjo Dilo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gadjo Dilo said...

Mrs P., it was me da'. He's gone now but I can still hear his voice: "Oh good heavens, what's this you're watching?" then he'd start singing "We are the Ovaltinies" and start dancing manically around the living room. Effective aversion therapy.

Lulu LaBonne said...

That sounds too familiar - Blimey are you my husband?

Mrs Pouncer said...

Great Scott! What a question, Lulu! Inkspot: are you Mr LaBonne? Are you Simon Le Bon? I'd wager you've never been mistaken for anyone's husband have you, Inky? The whole thing is beyond reason.

scarlet-blue said...

Sorry... is there a mop? I've choked on my tea.
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

And you should've seen me spluttering my White Russian down my cleavage, Scarls.
Breathless - literally - for Inky's response.

inkspot said...

Crabtree, personne ne me prends pas au serieux, c'est la mon desespoir.

Gadj, we are witty and wise. And savage. As you can tell from the scar. Look, it's there. What do you mean, you can't see it? It's there I tell you, and it's deep.

Kevin, I don't understand, a jam factory in Huddersfield makes complete sense. Perhaps if you specified the kind of jam?

Nurse, judge me instead. Gently.

Beast, you are a stern beast and I hang my head accordingly.

Lulu, he and I were switched at birth and nobody has ever noticed.

Mrs P, Scarlet, ladies, let me mop your chests.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Yum.

Lulu LaBonne said...

Crikey Bobby - Mrs P, Scarlet you should've seen the mess I made when I thought a had married a man leading a double but eerily similar parallel life, I've had to open a whole new box of Sham Wows

Mrs Pouncer said...

Lulu, you have blundered all unknowing into what the Germans are pleased to call eine Gruselgeschichte. For your own protection, I urge you to drop the subject of mistaken husbands whilst in these parts. It makes people nervous.

scarlet-blue said...

Yes Lulu, I am now frantically looking through my Kleneze catalogue for stain removers.

Please feel free to mop chests, Mr Inky.
Sx

Lulu LaBonne said...

Not sure whether one should spear, then roast eine Gruselgeschichte when blundering into one or chase it away with a big stick Mrs P.

Scarlet are you dropping things down your front on purpose by any chance?

Mrs Pouncer said...

Gruselgeschichten are best left unbaited, Lulu, believe me. And, yes, Scarlet makes a horrible habit of besmearing her chest in the hope that a snake-hipped Latino with an outsized napkin will appear.

scarlet-blue said...

Where is Mr Inky?
A warm sponging would be fine...?
Sx