Sunday, 4 January 2009

Happy New Year to all our customers!

Well, it's not quite brand new now is it, still running in more like. But you don't want to be too hasty, hailing the year before being reasonably sure that it's not going to skid into a ditch and stay there. That sort of thing really buggers up the calendar, and accounts for chunks of the Dark Ages. Not to mention leap seconds and so on.

But the main thing I wanted to say was, what with this credit crunch and Madoff's Great Pyramid Scheme of the Pharoahs, we have made our rates even more reasonable. Details on request, to xerxesQarquebus@gmail.com. No lingerie enquiries please.

16 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

But what if I want to posit a mutually pleasurable lingerie enquiry, Inky? I mean, would you really bounce it back? Indulge me. The year is yet young.

Kevin Musgrove said...

How can you resist a crie de coeur like that, Inky? See it as an exercise in elastic containment of non-Newtonian materials.

xerxes said...

Oh all right then. Only I was worried about spam. We used to have spam fritters at boarding school; god they were loathsome.

Anonymous said...

I'd like lingerie too please

xerxes said...

Nurse, welcome. I've just come from your blog, where there are 4 tennis players wearing _no lingerie whatsoever_. They would have been excellent examples of my silk dress theory, only they weren't wearing silk dresses either.

Time for my bedbath. Please.

BEAST said...

***Beast Exits with the snap of a taught suspender and a creak of whalebone***

Kevin Musgrove said...

...and the faint rustle of three layers of thick flannelette

Ms Scarlet said...

Are you selling pants? Do you work for Marks and Spencer's?
Sx

xerxes said...

Beast, clever of you to exit without entering. How did you manage it?

Kevin, can flanellette rustle? Even through a stethoscope?

Scarlet, not any longer, M&S have terminated Precision Handling's contract.

Ms Scarlet said...

Erm... hopefully you didn't have a contract with Woolworths.
Sx

BEAST said...

I cant imagine Mr Inky was big in woollies pants , he sounds more upmarket than that

xerxes said...

Well spotted Beast, I am astoundingly far upmarket, so far that you need oxygen bottles. But not as far as Mrs Pouncer, although that's my ambition.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Do you do magic knickers? The elastic seems to have perished in mine.

xerxes said...

Knickers whose elastic perishes at the owner's request are indeed magic, milady.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Happy belated New Year to you, Inky! Strewth, I've just seen that we both mentoined spam fritters, possibly on the same day and possibly coincidentally, which is scary.

xerxes said...

Good god, Gadj, it's eerie. Different dinner lady, same fritters. And your spelling of skool is, of course, the only correct one.

Scarlet, I've neglected you in a manner that borders on the caddish. And I haven't even offered you breakfast. Turkish coffee? And a Chelsea bun?